First Prize 2008 Canadian Christian Poetry Contest (Winter): $250
About this Christian Poet:
Returning from our Sabbatical in France and Japan has put me in a new place, with new routines and many messy house renovations! With my teenage daughter in school for the (almost) first time, I am delighted to have more time to write. I've been honoured to have my work appear in Time of Singing, Esprit, Glad Tidings, Utmost Gallery, Devozine and, publication pending, in Prairie Messenger.
This is the Hard Part
Disappointment at best. Call
it a tragedy, breakdown. Everything crashes.
All year God's gone about his business
of pointing out how he does things,
pulling on that pivotal beam,
collapsing the house, then digging
out the basement, laying down
something new. Nice floors.
Dissolution. Things fall apart
Ilya Prigoginae won a Nobel prize
in physics, 1977, for saying it this way:
‘A period of dissolution is necessary
before any system,…society or person
can jump to a higher level of organization.’
Decompose. Disintegrate. Break up.
Bring to an end.
Deconstruction pulls at your fibre.
I thought I was made of better stuff.
So what if the colours were dull, ropes and yarns
fraying. My days are unravelling all
over the house. I’m shivering and there’s nothing
to cover me against the deep cold here at the end
Finding no hooks to attach myself to, I drift
dark and light
The canvas leans against that far hill, framing
spilled paint poured over a finished work
in mixed colours. From the other side of the field
I get off the fence and see the green tree growing
through the broken scene; remember, consider,
put my foot on the first rung of believe, wonder
what you’re up to. Consider if it could be something
good. Apokastasis, a setting up, a waiting to be restored.
My friend, Mark Baker said once
that sometimes, something has to die
before a new thing can be born.
With that, the sun skidded
half way around the sky and shone
itself into my crawlspace.
I stood up and walked out to meet God
in these same beautiful ruins.
Copyright©2008 by Judith Frost